How many ways to say “How YOU doin’?” ?

How I was doin - Joey

How many ways can you say: “How are you?” or “What’s new?”

Below is an exhausting (but maybe not exhaustive) list of all the ways I can think of to encounter someone and ask either of these salutatory questions.

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Make the Gaffer Redundant!

I joined the meeting late and took refuge on a tiny Ottoman footstool as this serious-looking group of working class radicals met in the back of a pub, somewhere in Birmingham, England.  It was proposed that they crash a speech by Labour “life peer” and union fat cat Baroness Margaret Prosser. 

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Brassed Off

Word Fun: Issue No. 3

This one comes from Bill Bryson’s The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got that Way.  Below is a list of British terms that Bryson, writing in 1990, challenges his mostly American audience to identify. 

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Toboggan or not Toboggan…

Word Fun: Issue No. 2

You organize a yard sale for some friends in the neighborhood.  Saturday rolls around and a couple of your neighbors bring their stuff to sell.  Missy brings her things by and arranges it on the table.  Hubert, another neighbor, reads Missy’s sign saying “Hair Dillies – 50¢ each.”
“Huh?” Hubert says with furrowed brow, followed by a shrug.  He puts his item on the table next to the hair dillies and scrawls out a sign saying “Toboggan – $2”.  A bit later, your other neighbor, Nancy, comes over and gives Hubert’s sign a look of incredulity.  She crosses out Hubert’s sign with a large black marker and writes, “Tuke – $2”.

In this scenario, what is a toboggan, a tuke, and a hair dilly?  Extra credit if you can guess approximately where these neighbors of yours are from.

The Case of the Case Quarter

Word Fun: Issue No. 1

While in a public space an individual asks that you give them a ‘case quarter’.

You are:

A: Opposing attorneys arguing for the plaintiff and the defense, respectively.  He or she is requesting that you pre-divulge a specified percentage of the evidence assembled by your office before ‘discovery’.

B: Both regulars at the laundromat and the guy or lady wants 25¢, only it’s gotta be a quarter with George Washington on it, not two dimes and a nickel.

C: Midshipmen on a merchant vessel.  Your coastwise course will cross the Equator very soon and the second mate needs an accounting of the ship’s store before entering foreign waters.